Monday, 9 November 2015

"I Don't Want To Be Like Mahaakshay Chakraborty ..."

“And so this mortal walked on. Walked alone in the path in front of him. But we, The Gods, were still not convinced of this mortal’s conviction and devotion so we sent the Reaper to him. The Reaper had only one objective, to test the soul of this mortal. To lure him into temptation and distract him and to make him weak. But after a while when the Reaper came back to us and told us what happened, we knew we made the right choice to make this mortal our Lone Wolf.”

-The Book Of Prophecies.

For all those out there who think that Mahaakshay is writing this blog, let me stop you right there and inform you that Mahaakshay is right now engrossed in his training in Phuket. And since he is busy training his ass off I am taking the advantage of the free time I have before I go and tell you all about what I witnessed when I was with him. In case you don’t know who this is, I am Michael. I am the Reaper sent from the underworld to consume Mahaakshay’s soul but when Mahaakshay met me, he befriended me and started to call me Michael so I guess the name got stuck. I have written a few blogs over the course of many years that I have been with Mahaakshay. Since day one he knew what my intentions were and not even once did he flinch or was intimidated by me or my presence. He knew I was under direct orders from the lords of the underworld to make sure that his soul gets weakened and that he finally gives into normalcy and temptation. But what I saw was something to dark and cold to experience even for a soul observer like me. And even though I’m not that much of a talker I think this story has to be told.

"If you don't like the hand that fate's dealt you, fight for a new one."

They say every human being comes with a destiny. Well, I came into Mahaakshay’s life the moment he was born. The lords downstairs and some say even up there in heaven knew that he was the Mortal who the Book Of Prophecies had mentioned about. And since the Lords aren’t allowed to intervene with the humans they sent me to make sure that Mahaakshay never reaches his potential. I was assigned to make sure that he always be distracted and never once feel that he was destined to be special. For many years I was succeeding in my plan. Mahaakshay faced many trials and tribulations but not once did he flinch from his normalcy. I threw one temptation after the other at him and he gave in to all of it. The lords were quite happy with my work and they told me that I should continue this until Mahaakshay’s grows old, withers and dies. I was like, “Ok. This task was more easier than I had thought.” But then on that fateful day everything changed … forever.

"I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed."

I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was May 12th 2005. It was the 1st day when Mahaakshay saw the Promo for The Punisher film and the way his eyes were glued to that Skull I knew that something in him had changed forever. It was like a Seed was planted in him or a part of his soul which came to life that day. After that, he wasn’t the same man again. He became obsessed with Frank Castle! Everything in life revolved around The Punisher. Whether it was the Books, the Games or the Movies, Mahaakshay ate, slept and thought only about The Punisher. But even though he was distracted from the normal routines of life I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. So I made sure I did everything to keep him ‘normal’ and ‘mellow’. But with each passing day my powers were not affecting him and the Lords were sensing that too. So me and the lords came up with a new strategy. We thought lets fight with fire and so we initiated operation ‘Battle Soul’. Operation Battle Soul would make Mahaakshay’s life filled with Battle and conflicts and challenges to such extremes that he would finally give up and finally give in to us again. But what did we know that this Mortal wasn’t normal to begin with. He was destined to be Battle Forged and Battle Forged he became.

"Just because Fate doesn't deal you the right cards, it doesn't mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential."

To this day I regret the day I brought Mma into Mahaakshay’s life! I thought that by getting hit in the head for a few times and having more than 3-4 shoulder dislocations Mahaakshay would realise that fighting isn’t meant for him and he would hang his gloves. But the exact opposite happened! The more he punched and kicked he felt alive and he eventually fell in love with the rush what fighting gives to a man. Since that day in 2010 November, he has not even once thought of stopping to learn and excel in the field of Mixed Martial Arts. And the more his body got stronger so did his spirit. Before he was dependant on others for approval and support but as the years passed he became more and more self-involved and less devoted to the care and feelings of others. The more he dwelled into the darkest parts of his soul the more he became the Mortal the Book Of Prophecies had proclaimed him to be. And even though I was there with him every step of the way, even though I was the only one Mahaakshay ever confided into I knew that I had lost Mahaakshay forever. And at that point I didn’t care what kind of Punishment the Lords would sentence me with. At that point I only knew that even though I was the Grim Reaper the taker of souls, I would never want to be like Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"Our fate is determined by how far we are prepared to push ourselves to stay alive - the decisions we make to survive. We must do whatever it takes to endure and make it through alive."

I mean who goes back to camp just after coming back? Who goes back into the fight when he has family and friends and loved ones waiting for him back home? Who gets so consumed by Fight, Battle and War that he can’t enough of it? In my line of work I have taken souls of billions and billions of souls. I have seen darkness and goodness in all of them. But what I see in Mahaakshay scares even me! His soul you see, it is consumed by a purity even I have’t seen yet! And now I know why the Lords are so scared of him! He is human but behaves like a machine. He doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t wander. He doesn’t stop! i have seen the way people look at him! I have seen the hate he has received from the world for the way he is! But nothing seems to affect him! He gets up, washes his face and gets back right into the fight! i mean, have you ever heard a guy go up to his trainer and tell him, “Master I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I want to feel the pain in my body and I want to have cuts and bruises all over my body tomorrow morning! So hit me and let me get stronger!” Those words no normal man can ever say but now I have come to realise that Mahaakshay was never normal to begin with. No matter what I tried to do to distract him. Whether it was lust or care or kindness or even love noting could stop Mahaakshay from being the man he was destined to be. And now I don’t see a man, I see a Soul on Fire. A Soul ignited by Battle. And a  Man that will never stop.

"My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger."

But before I planned to depart to the underworld again, I finally took the courage and had a one on one with Mahaakshay. I wanted to once and for all truly understand this mortal who had become the best friend that I ever had. The following is the dialogue exchanged between me and Mahaakshay.

Me: Why do you do it brother? Why fight so hard? Why only fight? Why never stop?
Maha: Brother, you of all people should know by now that I am nothing without my fight. Fighting is what i do best. Whether I am fighting for my right to be here or whether I am fighting to be noticed, Fighting is what keeps me alive and makes me push myself harder.
Me: But brother, there is life even beyond fighting. Don’t you agree?
Maha: I tried that life brother. i tried to be ‘Normal’. I tried to have friends and I also tried to fall in love, to be in love and stay in love but you know how all those stories turned out to be. All left.
Me: They didn’t leave you bro. I was there. it was you who pushed them away.
Maha: Yes I did. And I did that because I know who I am. I am the lone wolf. And lone wolves can never keep others happy.
Me: Why don’t you try again brother?
Maha: Too late for me now. I am too far down that rabbit hole. And now there is no going back for me. Frank Castle never wanted me to become this way I know. Mma never wanted me to turn into this machine. I know. This was all me. I am the reason I have become this aloof, self-centred, selfish of a human being. I am the reason I am alone today and always will be. 
Me: But brother, I have seen you smile. I have seen you breaking bread with wonderful people. I have seen you care and I have seen you having hope towards the light of things. It isn’t too late for you. You can still turn this darkness into light.
Maha: This isn't  darkness my brother. This is a joy. A Black kind of Joy. A Joy only few will ever experience. There is a beauty in pain. There is power in Sacrifice. And there is Greatness in always being alone.
Me: But don’t you miss your family? Don’t you miss your friends? Don’t you miss being in love?
Maha: I have made many mistakes in my past my brother. And I promise I will never make anyone a collateral damage ever again.
Me: I respect your decision but you still haven’t answered my question. Don’t you miss being like everybody else?
Maha: I am alone here. I wake up alone. I sleep alone and I train alone. I see married couples, girlfriends and boyfriends, people who drink and party. I see love and laughter and joy everywhere I go. But you see being alone is what makes me stand out from the crowd. I am stronger when I am alone. I know there is a part of me which still feels … something. But that part is slowly dying away Michael. And very soon there will be nothing in me which will even be remotely human. 
Me: Why kill something so beautiful?
Maha: There is a beauty in war. You don’t see War and Battle and Pain as I do. And I guess no one ever has and no one ever will. And that is why I know I will always be misunderstood. 
Me: But I can fix this for you. I can give you all that you are willing to sacrifice.
Maha: There is victory only in sacrifice. There is greatness only in being truly alone.
Me: I can never be like you brother. When I first came to you all I had for you was remorse and hate because the Lords had told me that you would be the reason of our demise. That you would be the one who would end the reign of the gods. But the more I spent time with you, I came to saw that there was only Goodness in you and I had no right to take that away from you. I felt in my heart that you deserved to be happy. And that is why I fell in love with your kindness. But then something happened, didn’t it? You came across a Darkness within you. Didn’t you? And you gave in to it. Am I not right?
Maha: It is time for you to go and meet Hades my friend.
Me: Answer me brother. Please tell me what was it that changed you. That is the one thing I could never figure out. Please tell me!
Maha: Somethings and some people are never meant to be understood. I have learnt that the hard way. I can’t answer your question brother. I can’t give an answer to justify what I feel and how Battle and Loneliness some how fill me up. I am sorry my brother but I have no answer for you.
Me: I don’t pray much you know that but I will pray for you my friend. I will pray that one day you find love. That one day you find someone who tames the beast in you. I will pray that one day you will find your House with the Picked Fence. I will pray that one day you do have a normal life.
Maha: This is my life now. And given a choice I will choose this life over and over again ‘cause one day these Sacrifices will reap the rewards I so long for. One day these struggles will have value. One day my battles will prove to be victorious. And until that day comes I will Get Up, Dress Up and Show Up for the fight every single day. I will look at temptation and love and kindness and care  right in the eye and so No to all of those feelings. I will stand for what I believe in. I will do what I know is right for me. I will never stop. And I will never give up. You go now brother. And you take care ok. 
Me: I love you man. 
Maha: :-)

"The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate."

So that was my last conversation with my friend Mahaakshay Chakraborty. I know I am going to be back in the Underworld very soon but something tells me I will meet him again very soon. He truly is a lone wolf and it isn’t easy being Mahaakshay. I really do pray that he finds what he is looking for. But if I ever get to befriend another human being I will surely tell him about Mahaakshay. And I will also tell that other mortal that one should never be like Mahaakshay and when he will ask me why? I will tell him that only the bravest of us all can bear that kind of a burden. And there is no one as brave as Mahaakshay. For All Men Are Dogs. Few Are Wolves. But Only Few Are Lions. And only One Is Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

This is me, Michael, The Reaper and I was once the Friend of Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,


"To live alone is the fate of all great souls."


Friday, 23 October 2015

I Am The Fight ...

"And this mortal of ours, He will finally know his calling. And then, he will vanish into the wilderness. He will go on a quest to find the true meaning of his existence. And he will go through hell and back and he will touch his own darkness. And then one day, when the world will need him the most he shall return. But until that time comes, this mortal will fight the monsters and the mayhem. He will rise his sword and vanquish the evil from the face of the earth and in the end, when he will finally hear the siren, he will return and he will bring the fight with him."

-The Book Of Prophecies.

Yes, it has been a while. I remember, the last blog I wrote was before I was leaving for Fight Camp. And now, it has been more than 45-50 days that I am returning here to write my newest entry. I guess like all writers, I only open the laptop and start typing when the words in my head can't be contained anymore. Like all writers, sometimes the words just come out at the right time and I guess this is that right time. This is that time when the world needs to read something more about me yet again.

Yes, I do know you all wanna know about Fight Camp and trust me, I am ecstatic to tell you all about it as well. But before I begin, I just want you to know that going to fight camp was by far the most amazing and evolved experience of my life!

I left for fight camp on the 1st of September and I returned back to Mumbai a month later. Everyone who met me after I returned were in awe of the transformation that occurred. I thank everyone for their lovely words and I also thank all the people out there who were very kind to leave wonderful comments on my pics and trust me, it is because of all of you that I do that little extra. It is because of your belief that I go the extra mile. So thank you from the bottom of my heart to be there for me. :-)

To be honest I was petrified to go to camp! It was the 1st time in my life that I was going to a different country all by myself and living in a new environment outside of my family's and that scared me yet excited me! Along with the fact that I was going away for a month was the promise that I gave to my family that when they see me again, they would meet a new me. And I am happy to say that, that is what exactly happened. I did change a lot. But more than the physical appearance I think I changed more mentally. I evolved more when I was alone for 30 days. Of course, I made wonderful friends over there and I know that my friendship with those amazing people will last forever but being there, day in and day out, attending 3 classes everyday, in the scorching heat, dripping sweat like water, I realised that I was always meant to be this man. This man, who was always part of the wilderness. And the man who always meant to Fight.

"I do what I do because it is the right thing to do. I am a warrior, and it is the way of the warrior to fight superior odds."

I still remember the 1st day of camp. I arrived in the afternoon and I met the manager of Tiger muay Thai and Mma. His name was Jolan and he was very kind and sweet and showed me the entire camp and also gave me a brief introduction of all the facilities that the camp had to offer. I was thrilled and I wasn't going to wait until the next day to start training so I went for the 4pm Muay Thai Beginner's Class. The class lasted 2 hours and by the time the class was over, I was tired and dizzy in the dry Phuket heat! I also got my ass handed to me 'cause I was sparring against many Muay Thai fighters who were kind enough to show us a few moves. All in all it was the toughest 2 hours of my life and I knew that this was only the beginning!

Before I went to Phuket, I had only googled TMT {Tiger Muay Thai} and so I had no clue as to how amazing it would be and how many various classes it had to offer. And if you thought that TMT was the only camp there you were so wrong! TMT had located me at the 2home Resort which was a 10mins walk from the camp and so while coming and going to camp, I also saw that there were 3 gyms, 2 more muay thai camps, 1 truly amazing cross fit centre and another Mma camp on the same street! And not to mention the countless Healthy Restaurants and the shops with multiple Mma brands to choose from! I was in Fitness paradise! Yes, that is the only way to describe it!

Everyone was always on scooters or motor bikes but I decided that I would rent a cycle. Well, a cycle with gears and that way I would cycle my way to camp everyday. Now, of course I realise that renting a bike would had been a much better choice but back then I really liked my Bike Rides, even when it was pouring and thunder storms would come and go. I had an amazing connection with that bike and when I do return to camp, maybe I would rent it again. :-)

And so my one month at phuket started. I was thrilled and excited and nervous and yet full of energy and as the days went by and I got the feel of the place and I knew it in my heart that this won't be the 1st and last time that I would visit this place. Only 4-5 hours away from Mumbai, I knew that this place would eventually be my 2nd home. :-)

"Each Warrior wants to leave the mark of his will, his signature, on important acts hetouches. This is not the voice of ego but of the human spirit, rising up and declaring that it has something to contribute to the solution of the hardest problems, no matter how vexing!"-Pat Riley

And so as the days went on I got engrossed into my training. Day in and day out I went deeper and deeper into this amazing world of training. Whether it was Brazilian Jui-Jitsu in the morning or Combat Conditioning with the russian fighters by 9:30am, I tested my abilities everywhere. And during these sessions I came across the Strength and Conditioning class which was by far the most packed and famous class in camp. And the reason it was so was because of the instructor John Priest. He was truly amazing in what he did and also the exercises he made us perform. The classed were tough and challenging but they were rewarding as well. 

John Priest was also one of the trainers who was coaching Roger Huerta, a veteran in the Mma world for his fight which was coming up in a few weeks. Mr. Priest was truly an inspiration for us all but what was more rewarding was that one day he came up to me and shook my hand and told me something that I would never forget. He told me, "I need more people like you in my class. You can motivate others and make them push more and you inspire me!" I was speechless after what I had heard and I knew that I had earned the respect of one of the best Trainers I had the honour of training with!

And if that wasn't enough, Sir came up to me a few days before I left camp and told me that he wants to train me one on one! Of course I did train with him and every moment of that class was like a dream come true for me! After that class sir shook my hand and told me that I want to see you back here again someday very soon and I told him, "I promise I would be back sir." Who knew that I would fulfil that promise sooner than I had ever expected. :-)

"Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men."

Everyday for me in phuket was an adventure. Whether it was the moody weather, or the amazing local food, I had the privilege to experience it all! The people were very friendly and thai sports massages after training were very relaxing and soothing as well. But there is one incident I really wanna share with you. I met this Russian Fighter in camp. His name was Alexi and he was preparing for his fight in Indonesia at the upcoming One Fc Mma event. I observed him for a few days and the more I did, this Navy Seal looking guy became my inspiration and hero! He never spoke to anyone and trained like an animal throughout the day. Even during dinner, he would sit alone and eat his meal with his head phones on. I knew I had to befriend him. Luckily for me, he was in the same classes as I was and we always gave each other a nod of recognition before starting class. There were also times when I tried talking to him but since he was the quit types our conversations weren't more than a word of Hi and Hello. But on that one fruitful day, everything changed. :-)

We were having our Wrestling class by 5pm and I was already 2 classes down with only one meal inside of me. Wrestling like Jui-Jitsu and Mma Sparring is very tough and it requires an enormous amount of cardio and agility. I of course as the over enthusiastic person that I am volunteered for the wrestling class 'cause I wanted to know how it is. Of course Alexi was there and after the 15mins warm-up and the 30mins Technical Drills, our instructor told us all to wrestle with one another in a 'friendly non-competitive' way. After the 1st round Alexi looked at me and told me to wrestle with him in the 2nd round. I of course was in candy land and said Yes and what followed was an experience I would never forget.

As soon as the bell rang we were grappling and 40 seconds into the round Alexi just applied a little pressure on my right shoulder and before I knew it, my shoulder popped! Oh yeah, you heard me, the Right Shoulder just popped out of the socket! The pain was excruciating and when he asked me what was wrong, I told him I was fine and then it took me one whole minute to bring the shoulder ball back in! After that was done I managed to wrestle with him for the remaining of the round and somehow survive the gruelling agony which I was feeling. Of course I went head on with him for the next 2-3 rounds and I think Alexi put me on the mat for more than 20-30 times! But by the end of the most toughest ass-kicking session of my life Alexi came up to me and shook my hand and smiled! Yes, he smiled! For me, that smile meant a lot and I knew that after all the wait and ass-whopping I had finally made friends with my hero on camp. :-)

"Courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior."

By the end of camp I was nicknamed as the 'Machine'! I shit you not but that is what everyone started calling me there. Whether it was me doing my Private Muay Thai sessions with Master Danai with my elevation mask on or whether it was me training 3 classes a day, 5 days a week at the most Advanced Levels of training at TMT and Unit-27, I was not Mahaakshay or Mimoh anymore. I was the Machine. For a guy like me who was always the fat kid in school, hearing the word Machine was like the best compliment ever! 

I knew that opting to come to this Camp was one of the best decisions of my life and when I think of it, I only smile. And that smile comes from a deep sense of joy and contentment that I kept the promise I gave to my family and to myself. But when I came back, I knew that My training here won't ever be the same again. When I got back I went to the same gyms I did before but something was different. The people were the same but the feeling felt a little different. It was like I knew I can do better and train harder and push more. Of course the Bodyholics Gym which just opened in Andheri is the only Gym which comes close to the level of training I had there and luckily for me, my Coach, Abbas Ali owns the gym!

But at times like these, I know I have to wait for that right film to come. I know I can do more than just wait for the opportunity to present itself. I can be prepared for it! And that is why I have opted to go back to camp for another 30 days in the month of November. I know how the camp is now and I also know that I can push myself more than I did last time and I can also enrol myself into Phuket Top Team, the Technical Fight Factory and the Muscle Bar Meal Plan. This is me, upgrading myself and pushing myself more harder than I ever have 'cause I know that only when I give, I will be given in return.

"To achieve the mood of a warrior is not a simple matter. It is a revolution. To regard the lion and the water rats and our fellow men as equals is a magnificent act of a warrior's spirit. It takes power to do that."

You can ask me, "Why do you wanna go back to camp? You just came home!" Well, let me explain that to you then.

All my life I have fought. And now, after all these years, I have become very good at it. Whether the fight for me has been physical or mental, I know that I am at my best when I am in the battlefield. Going to Phuket gave me a taste of that Battle a little more and now I am hungry for more! I want to go back 'cause I feel alive when I am pushed and tested and when my Body is screaming for Rest from the heat of the sun or when my limbs tell me that they can't move an inch further. I am Myself when I am fighting. And that is why I choose to go back. At times like these I relate myself to Frank Castle aka The Punisher. In one of the most important stories of him ever told, there is a chapter when he is at Central Park with his family just before they get gunned down. While his children are playing he comes up to his wife Maria and tells her, "I am leaving you." She is in tears and asks him why? He says, "I feel dead inside. This life isn't for me. I am sorry." And before she could say anything the bullets start piercing them from all over and they die right in front of his eyes.

The reason this story is so close to me is because now I can say 'That I am Frank Castle' in more ways than one. For me, normality ins't exciting anymore. I spoil for a Fight and I lust for War. I truly am a War Junkie and I know that my end will truly be in the Battlefield. I have to go back and be alone. With myself, with my thoughts and with my true purpose. I have to look myself in the mirror and remind myself everyday that this is who I truly am. I am a man who has fallen in love with his War and I am a man who will never have enough of it. 

I can't wait to go back. I can't wait for my name to be heard when the Frankie gives the call-out for the people present in class. I can't wait to Wrestle in my Hayabusa Rash Guard and I can't wait to be the man who is turning into the Lone Wolf. The remnant of Ares himself.

I know I may sound weird. And I know that all of you are finding and fighting for something also. So I hope you maybe be able to connect with the way I feel. None of us have it easy. We all want something and that is why we fight. The only difference is we fight in different battlefields. As I said before I know my time will come and until that day comes, I will train and I will learn and I will make myself better in every possible way that I can. This is who I am and this is what I will always be.

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I Am The Fight.

"You are part of that horrid expression, the best and the brightest. It can be a terrible burden if you let it be, but it is the great challenge of your time. And being a warrior in that challenge should be wondrous."

With all my might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

Monday, 31 August 2015

The Silent Prayer ...

“And then the mortal shall venture into the unknown. He will see what his fate has in stored for him. He will feel fear and excitement. He will be thrilled, just like a young boy at christmas morning. He will know deep down in the very depths of his soul that this is how his life play out now. This venture into the unknown will be the gateway to his greatness. Only alone, through facing his fears and embracing his true potential will he become one of the elite. That is how he will become one of us.”

-The Book Of Prophecies. 

I am nervous. I am scared. I am thrilled and I am excited. Basically all emotions wrapped up into one. I mean, this is really happening you know! I am finally going for Fight Camp and not just for a week but for an entire month! This is unknown territory for me and that is why it is so exciting for me. This is the very 1st time in my life I am going on an adventure! For a month I will be by myself, I will be training day in and day out and every day I will find myself. For all those years those voices in my head which screamed for this moment are now dancing. They are so happy and delighted that this is happening! I am truly grateful to the universe and to my parents for this opportunity. And truth to be told, no matter how grateful I can be and the billions of thanks I give to my parents and to the universe, they won’t be enough to justify my joy! Thank you thank you thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart! This is pure joy. Like the pure of the purest of joys! :-)

"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."

Very soon I will be at Tiger Muay Thai and Mma Fight Camp where people from all around the world will be training and preparing and focused on changing themselves for the better. I have always thrived in competition and in those group classes over there I will find many with whom I can compete with. Whether they are punching, kicking or running, I know I will find many who will motivate me to push my limits to the next level. This is truly next level shit for me and this is what I need now. I know Coach’s gym will be open by the time I come back but for the month of September I am going to push my boundaries. Training isn’t only about your physical limitations. It is also about the mental attitude you have while running in the scorching heat or kicking the bag so hard that your legs are burning in pain. It is all about convincing yourself that yes you can and you will! 

"In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was 'Help me.' Sometimes a prayer was 'Thank you.' What I've discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away."

This opportunity has been given to me and I know that a part of me has even earned the right to go there. But the journey doesn’t end there. In fact, it only begins when I reach TMT {Tiger Muay Thai}. I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I have many promises to keep. To my parents, to the universe and to myself. This is a dream coming true and I have to do whatever it takes to make sure that I do what all I have planned to do in the coming 30 days. That thought surely gives me goosebumps as all eyes are on me. But as long as I can remember, I have never backed down from a fight and this is one of the most important fights of my life. Why is it that you ask? Well, ‘cause this time my dreams are on the line and I have to show it to the people I love and care for that My Dreams Do Matter.

"God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers."

So I pray. I pray in the stillness of the night. I look up and tell the universe to be with me and to give me strength to push, push and push and to never stop. I pray to show me the light. I pray that I become a better human being. That when I train I never stop. That everyday I only evolve and become more calmer through my aggression. I pray that I use all my anger and rage as a force of good not as a seed to evil. I pray that in the darkness of the night I find hope not isolation. I pray that everyday over there I seek and find what I am looking for. I pray that my prayers are answered. I pray that I find the courage to face the realities of my life and to overcome all obstacles. I pray that I glow even in times of complete blackness. I pray that I never stop and only keep moving forward. I pray that I make my family proud of the decision that they made for me to go to Fight Camp and I pray that when they see me again they see a transformed Me, both physically and mentally. I pray that I use my fears as a tool towards success. I pray that I become so contended that I never have to feel anger, misery or rage again. I pray that I find the peace I am looking for. And I pray that from the bottom of my heart that Fate meets me in this glorious journey that I am about to take.

"'Thank you' is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding."

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Silent Prayer.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

PS. In my previous blog I had mentioned that I would be in touch with my regular blog updates but I can’t promise that as all depends on my training and the classes I take and the amount of time I am engrossed in my training. So until next time, thank you for being there for me and reading my blogs and being a part of my journey. I know one day my time will come. One day I will make you all proud of me. I know that for some it takes years while others get at the beginning. I know it has been 9 years for me here but I can say that I am still here and I know that I am meant to be here and no matter what happens I am not going to quit. I am never going to give up, no matter how hard it gets. Failures can't stop and pain will only make me stronger. I am here 'cause I know I belong here and one day my time to shine in the sun will come. Until then I will do what I do best. I will raise my sword and shield and I will fight!

I need all the blessings and prayers I can get. :-)


Saturday, 29 August 2015

The Little BIG Chapters Of My Life ...

“So finally, after all the trials and the errors of his human heart, the mortal we chose will realise his power. He will know what he is destined for. And it won’t be the normality that life will offer. It won’t be the Barbeque grill or the beers or the laughs. It will be the quest to find himself. The journey of the soul. The path of the lone wolf. And when he does embrace this journey of his, he will be changed forever. He will become unique. He will become One Of Us.”

-The Book Of Prophecies. 

The Last Of Us …

I feel so proud to be one of the billions who had the chance to play such an amazing game! I have always been a gamer but now, after playing The Last Of Us I can proudly say that I am The Gamer! The Last Of Us is by far one of the best games I have ever played! Every moment was engrossing and thrilling! I was so addicted to the game and even though I wanted to finish the game at the same time I never wanted the game to end! Whether it was the amazing upgrades you get for your weapons or the beautiful scenery the developers designed or whether it was the realistic fight sequences, the game was truly epic! I really wish they make a sequel of the game! Yes, I want the characters to return. I want more upgrades and I want to feel that excitement to play the game again! But if there ever comes a time when I do survive an apocalypse I know I would make the same choices and fight as hard to survive as the characters in the game did. There is something amazing about living in a world like that. A world where 24/7 your survival instincts are on. I guess for a War Junkie like me it would feel just like home. But for now, I am just as happy playing the amazing game with a remote in my hands. :-)

"Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy."

Lucifer …

Do you know there is a show called Lucifer premiering next year? I did see the Trailer and as soon as I did I was rushed with excitement! I mean how cool is that! Not only did Supernatural show how amazing Lucifer was but now they have a show solely dedicated to the Bad-Ass of all angels! I can’t wait for it to start! Trust me, when you watch the trailer you will agree with me. I mean he is Lucifer, the most mis-understood angel of all but now he is fed up from hell and has taken a break and come to earth and al though he carries all the 9 circles of sins with him, he is still here on earth helping humans in his own devilish way! Yes, I do see myself in him. I always thought I was mis-understood and maybe that is why I feel the connection with him and watching all those episodes and see Lucifer Kick-Ass would be a pure delight! Lucifer … please start soon! :-)

"If those committed to the quest fail, they will be forgiven. When lost, they will find another way. The moral imperative of humanism is the endeavor alone, whether successful or not, provided the effort is honorable and failure memorable."

The Office …

I was always in love with The Office which starred Ricky Gervais and I till today I wish that it had more than 2 seasons. But now, recently I have started watching the American Version of The Office starring Steve Carrell and I must say that I am hooked! I am right now in the 3rd season and I am happy to know that is has 9 seasons in total! Every night I laugh my ass off before I shut my eyes and venture off into dreamland. The actors are par excellence and their comic timing is to die for! This show is a must for all ‘cause I do know that we all deserve a laugh now and then. :-)

"Man is wise and constantly in quest of more wisdom; but the ultimate wisdom, which deals with beginnings, remains locked in a seed. There it lies, the simplest fact of the universe and at the same time the one which calls forth faith rather than reason."

Dubsmash …

Whoever created the Dubsmash app, I salute you! It was a genius move and today the app is a worldwide phenomena! Each and everyone has recorded and tried something or the other while using the app and when I caught the bug of the Dubsmash App I knew that I would for a very long time be addicted to it. And now, Me, My brothers and their friends are somewhat celebrities on the App! Whether it is the comments we get on our instagram page or whether it is people coming up to us and actually telling us that we make funny dubsmash videos is truly a very good feeling! I am completely in love with the app and if given a choice I would love to make a Dubsmash video everyday. Funny or serious. Dialogue or song, dubsmash is the app for all! :-)

"Clarity and consistency are not enough: the quest for truth requires humility and effort."


Disturbed has been my favourite Rock band for ages now! I think I have heard their song ’Stupify’ at least a million times and their other song ‘Indestructible’ a close second! Their music completes me. And there can’t be any better band for me than Disturbed. And now, they have come up with their Brand New Album titled Immortalized. It is available on iTunes right now and if you are a rock lover then this album is for you. You should hear ‘The Vengeful One’, ‘The Light’ and ‘The Sound Of Silence’. Oh yeah, they are my top three songs from the album. The Vengeful One tops my list ‘cause if you listen to the lyrics, you will agree with me also. The lyrics have power and meaning and a message only a band as beautiful as Disturbed can. And The Vengeful one relates a lot with The Punisher so my connection with the song is deeper than just guitars and drums. This album is a must-hear for all rockers! Download now! :-)

"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."

Country Music …

I know I know, this is a complete opposite of Rock Music but for as long as I can’t remember but I have always loved Country music. Maybe it is the two opposites sides of the spectrum thing that ticks me the right way. I mean on one side I have this amazing rock band expressing their feelings with an electronic guitar and on the other side I hear these talented musicians talking about their first crush and beer in a smooth melody. I still don’t know why I love Country music so much. Maybe it is the fascination that one day I will go to America and wear a Cowboy hat and take part in the small town festivals and eat Chicken Wings and have Beer. Or maybe the music just touches the right chords in me. To be honest, I don’t know yet but what I do know that if after Rock there is any other Music Genre which I really love, then it is Country Music. :-)

"The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being."

The Bodyholics Combine Training Studio …

I have been training with Abbas Ali since February. And now, after 6 months of training with him, I can say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made! He is truly one of the best trainers out there and now we share a bond of family and brotherhood than of a coach and a client. I look up to him and always listen to his advice. In fact, the entire Bodyholics team is like Family for me. Whether it is the-always-ripped Mayank or the Serious-Yet-Funny guy Nadir or the Woman who keeps the Bodyholics foundation strong-Vedu, the bodyholics team is a part of my daily life. So you can imagine how happy and excited I am that Coach is now coming up with his own Combine Training Studio! Oh ya, you heard me, the very first Combine Training Studio! People have already started enrolling into it and everyone is also talking about it. Any gym and every gym has heard the news that by September 3rd week or so the Studio will be open for it’s members and the talks are that it is truly state-of-the-art! Well, I have already seen the place. Coach has given the complete layout and trust me, I am not over-exaggerating but truly and with all seriousness the Bodyholics Combine Training Studio is next-level and whoever wants to be the part of the elite should join right away! I know I already have. :-)

"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers."

Tiger Muay Thai and Mma …

Dream. Come. True!!! I am speechless! I am so excited and I am so happy! I am actually going to the Fight Camp! I am over-joyed and whenever I think about how amazing it will be there my face just lights up! I will be there for a month and I will get a chance to take my training to the next level! I really should thank my parents for giving me this opportunity and letting me live my dream! You must have known by now that I have always loved Fighting and Testing my limits both mentally and physically! And now, I have that opportunity! I will be Training, Eating and Staying inside the Camp and will be training for nearly 5-6 hours a day! I can just keep on talking about this amazing adventure of the human spirit I am about to start in just a few days but what I am thinking is that I will try to update the world with my blogs everyday when I am there. I do agree that the blogs maybe one or two paragraphs long but I believe that, that way you will see the experience I am having there on a daily basis. Whether it is Muay Thai or Mma or even Brazilian Jui-Jitsu, they have everything at camp! They train early in the mornings even in the late evenings. They have beach workouts and also Cross-Fit and even the Toughest Boot Camp Training in Asia! Can you imagine GSP {George St. Pierre} has also trained at Tiger Mma! You can sense my excitement right now, can’t you? So imagine how I will be when I will be in the camp! :-) As I said earlier, I really thank my parents for giving me this opportunity and believing in me and also thanks to my siblings for supporting me in this venture. And I should also deeply thank the universe for this! This has been one of greatest dreams I ever had and in a span of just a few days it will be true! Yes, I am going there to push my limits. Yes, I am going there to transform. But more importantly I am going there to find myself. Yes, in the midst of Training and Blood, Sweat and Tears and all the Muscle Soreness I know I will find the thing that I am looking for. That answer to my question. That path which is laid infant of me. That Greatness which only a Lone Wolf can have. 

"Join me in my quest for a greater understanding of our existence. Join me in my desire for a greater self. Join me as I seek the humility to love and understand my fellow man."

So there you have it. The Little BIG Chapters of my life. I guess it is small things which lead up to the big things. Every chapter written here has impacted me in a spiritual level and every thing that I have written here is a part of me. A very dear part of me. I thank you all once again for reading my blogs and spreading the word. As mentioned earlier, I will try my best to be in touch when I go to camp. Maybe I will write a Blog everyday or maybe I won’t write at all. Maybe I will post videos and tweet about the entire amazing adventure or maybe i will just change and become The Warrior who stays in the shadows. Life is amazing. We just need to see the miracles that happen to us everyday. We need to have the courage to step out and beyond our comfort zone and go looking for that what defines us. I know I am doing it right now. I wish you do it also. We all are blessed in some way or the other. And we all should should be Grateful about it, one way or another. :-)

"I feel the older I get, the more I'm learning to handle life. Being on this quest for a long time, it's all about finding yourself."

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and these are the Little BIG Chapters of My Life … :-)

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

PS. Somethings in this life are truly worth fighting for! :-)


Saturday, 1 August 2015

The Number 31 ...

All men die. That is how they have been created. But what matters is what they do while they are still alive. We write this book foreseeing the future of humanity. And we have foreseen the end of it. We have seen how man will eventually destroy himself. We have seen how greed will tear everyone apart and how jealousy will make the world burn. We have seen how emotions can weaken men. We have seen how Power can corrupt anything it touches. But we have also seen ‘The One’. Who is ‘The One’ you ask? He is just like you. And he lives amongst you. But what makes him so special is that at a very crucial time in his life he will realise who he truly is. And that realisation won’t come from love or friendship or bonds that unite. It will come from knowing the nothingness. The blackness within and stillness within his soul. And when he does accept who he is, his entire world will be changed forever.”

-The Book Of Prophecies.

I don’t write that many blogs anymore. It has been more than a month since my last blog entry. There was a time when I use to write an entry every week. But now I guess I don’t have much to express. I know it is strange of me to say that but that is the truth and I have accepted that. Before, it was all about me trying to make my voice heard by everyone. Now, I don’t feel that necessity anymore. I guess turning 31 makes you feel like that. Or maybe it is all the life experiences combined till now that make you realise that in the end all you have to be is Self-Sufficient. What is self-sufficient you ask? Well, according to me, it is the ability to be contended with one’s own self. I know I will be sounding like a hypocrite right now but the truth is that for a while I have been feeling this way. And now, I have gotten used to it. Yes. I really love my own company! Even right now, I am all alone in my house writing this blog. Of course, my bros and sis will be arriving in some time with their friends but until they come, I know I can enjoy every amount of this solitary peace given to me. And no, I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. I in fact, really liked the peace and quit. I liked it so much that I even refused to pick up calls from the people who wanted to wish me! I was like, “I am 31 now! I want to feel like I am 31.” I know I must be wrong according to many people for being this way but this state of being really makes me very happy. In fact, I am also very proud of myself. Proud why you ask, well, ‘cause for the 1st time in my life I am abiding the promise I gave to the universe and to Frank all those years ago. The promise of being non-dependant on others. And the power to be completely self-sufficient. In other words, transforming into a Lone Wolf.

"Experience is the only prophecy of wise men."

I don’t remember the last time I cried. You know, that crying which is either triggered by a sudden hurt or a surprised feeling of joy. I don’t remember when I had tears rolling down my cheeks. My pet Wrinkle, who was very close to me passed away. I didn’t cry then. Same happened when my pets Tiger and Chewbacca passed away also. And I also didn’t cry when Ishqedarriyaan didn’t click. I just looked at the mirror and then told myself, “Get Up and fight back.” And now, that is what I do. Day in and day out I test myself. Day in and day out I try to make myself better. And day in and day out I become stronger. So strong that no one can have the power to ever hurt me again. Even my weekly time table is a ’Self-Involved’ time table. Get Up, have coffee, eat breakfast, leave for the gym. Train, then eat, then read, then do mma. Then take a bath, have dinner, watch tv, play video games, watch a movie, do my online course, read on my kindle, go to sleep. Repeat the same training cycle for 6 days a week. Rest and recover on sundays. Get back to training on monday. And this schedule of mine is only giving me progress. A self-sufficeint progress. I am very happy to say I have one of the best trainers out there {Abbas Ali} and getting trained by him and understanding what fitness truly is, is a reward in itself. He pushes me and I always feel a personal high when gym members come up to me and congratulate me on my transformation and also the lovely comments I get on the social media platforms. All of this combined only convinces me that I can do a lot more. And that is why I have enrolled myself into a Dance class. The Advanced level of Urban Hip-Hop. I believe I can never stop learning and there is always something new to learn out there. So now, with the Cardio and Coach’s training and the Mma I am also learning dance. You know what the funny thing is? I always called myself a ‘Machine’ when I did nothing like what a machine does. But now, turning 31 I know that by default I do everything what a Machine does. And that is to never stop.

"Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy."

Don’t take me wrong. I am not showing off. I am just trying to prove a point to you. That eventually we all become what we had set out to be. When I was 20, I made many promises to myself. Back then, I was childish and immature and didn’t know what I was doing. But now, it is all because of those promises that I am forging myself with Steel everyday. Promises that are more real now than they were back then. There are voices in my head which keep on telling me the same thing over and over again. “You are the Lone Wolf. You are stronger than others. You can be alone while others don’t want to be. You can stand tall when all else fails. You are the one who can do extraordinary things.” Those words are like constant echoes in my head. And they never stop. I guess they are gentle reminders from the Universe. Reminders which always show me my path. I know I am not perfect. Hell, I am far away from perfect and I wasn’t always this self-aware. But I know that is all in the past now. You can’t imagine how happy I feel when I am all by myself. The freedom to know that you are in charge of only your life and the power that comes with it is truly amazing. I guess those are the perks of turning 31. :-)

"A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own 'accuracy.'"

So how does a man who always wanted attention from others becomes the man who loves being by himself? I guess the answer is contentment. There are so many moments in a day which make me look up to the universe and say the words, “Thank You”. There are so many moments in a day where I truly feel happy and in these moments I know that the universe is with me, every step of the way and I know that everything is going to be alright. Yes, I do believe in Hope. And that is why I fight everyday. That is why I sacrifice and that is why I push myself to new limits. Before, in my blogs, I always wanted to redeem myself in a way or indirectly say the things I wanted to say to others. But now, I feel nothing. I feel no anger or resentment or anguish. I am just happy being left alone in my own little world, minding my own business and giving my goals and dreams my 100% everyday! That is the man I have become now. The lone wolf I am transforming into. I have this pumped-up energy in me which never goes out! Trust me on that! And I say that ‘cause I train thrice a day and yet I have energy. I don’t feel soreness and I don’t feel fatigued. And there is so much I want to do! I want to grow a beard. Try new hair styles. Go for Fighting Camps across the world and also read more Books and take more Online Courses! So in other words turning 31 has only been the beginning of my ‘Real’ journey. 

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."

This is the New Me and This Is My Story.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.